


I Might Prefer a Musical

by electricteatime



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: DGHDA Spookfest 2018, Gen, Ghosts, Happy Holistic Halloween!, M/M, Scary Movies, Two Dumb Boys Being Idiots, just a little something for the spookiest time of the year, spookiness, that's about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 00:12:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16482401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricteatime/pseuds/electricteatime
Summary: “Well okay,” he concedes after a moment, amused smirk firmly back in place as he takes another handful of popcorn. Salted. The heathen. “But if you want to turn it off just let me know.”It’s not a challenge, but he takes it as one all the same, sitting up straighter and hugging his pillow a little closer.“I’ll be fine.”***My submission for DGHDA SpookFest 2018! I took Prompt 19: Scary Movies.





	I Might Prefer a Musical

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who participated in DGHDA SpookFest 2018! You've all made some wonderful, amazing, creepy, spooky, cute stuff and I can't wait to sit down and get through it all. But first I suppose I should throw my hat into the ring so here's this. 
> 
> My submission for DGHDA SpookFest 2018! I took Prompt 19: Scary Movies.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Dirk _hates_ it when Todd picks the movies.

 

Well alright, he doesn’t _always_ hate it. Todd has a lot of opinions about movies, what makes a good one, what makes a bad one, what ones Dirk _absolutely has to see_ , what ones he’s claimed he’d rather die before watching. Try as he might, Dirk never can make out the pattern of films that Todd likes, but he knows which ones he _hates_ him picking.

 

He should have invented a case as soon as Todd had mentioned ‘Halloween Tradition’ and pulled up something that _sounded_ terrifying, never mind looked it. But Todd had also brought popcorn, and a blanket, and a seemingly unlimited amount of sweets and chocolate as per the holiday in question, and Dirk thinks he may be being bribed at least partially, but he doesn’t point it out because it’s _working_. Besides, nights in with Todd are always nice, movie nights are some of his favourites, and whatever it is on the film it’s not real and Dirk has seen a lot of strange things. It will be fine, he tells himself, settling into the couch next to him. A fake ghost. He’s seen scarier.

 

He has not seen scarier.

 

Or, rather, he _had_ seen scarier, but in that situation he was so caught up in the panic of the moment and able to actually _do_ something that it hadn’t seemed as scary until afterwards. At least in real life he can hit it, or run away, or _something_ , but right now he’s just stuck watching as the tension builds and builds and _builds_. He feels like he’s about to go out of his mind himself, like there’s something in the room with them, like if he turns around the ghostly figure will be reaching out to-

 

“You okay?”

 

Dirk doesn’t scream, but he does jump a little more than he’d like, turning to Todd so quickly he almost feels dizzy with it.

 

“Of course I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Todd raises an eyebrow, lips quirking up and giving away his amusement, “because you’re hiding behind a pillow?”

 

“I am not hiding!” he protests, despite the fact that’s exactly what he’s doing. “I’m… _cuddling_. It’s soft.”

 

“Oh yeah?” he teases, and if Dirk didn’t need the pillow he might just hit him with it. “Put it down then.”

 

“Absolutely not!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because I don’t want to!”

 

Todd softens a little, taking in the way Dirk has backed himself into the furthest corner of the couch and piled as many soft things between him and the TV as possible.

 

“It’s okay if you’re scared.”

 

“While I appreciate the concern Todd, I am _not_ scared.”

 

A girl screams on the screen and Dirk flinches back from the noise, hugging his pillow closer to his chest like it might save him from the demons. Todd, frustratingly, hadn’t reacted at all.

 

“Well okay,” he concedes after a moment, amused smirk firmly back in place as he takes another handful of popcorn. Salted. The heathen. “But if you want to turn it off just let me know.”

 

It’s not a challenge, but he takes it as one all the same, sitting up straighter and hugging his pillow a little closer.

 

“I’ll be _fine_.”

 

***

 

It takes roughly ten minutes for Dirk to migrate across the sofa and burrow into Todd’s side as the ghost starts stalking people in earnest. To his credit, Todd doesn’t call him out on it, just puts his arm around him and lets Dirk hide his face in his chest when anything gets to be too scary for him to handle. He’s just thinking about how in any other situation it might be quite nice, when the ghost makes some kind of unholy shriek and he just squeezes his eyes shut tighter.

 

“You know it’s a movie, right? It can’t hurt you or anything,” if Todd is trying to be comforting it’s not working, and Dirk looks up from his hiding place to glare at him.

 

“ _That_ thing might not, but the _real_ ghosts might.”

 

“The-” Todd pulls back enough to look at him properly, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Ghosts aren’t real, Dirk.”

 

“Well of course you think that, that’s what they want you to think.”

 

“The ghosts want me to think they aren’t real?”

 

Dirk sniffs at the dryness of his tone. “It would be very difficult to haunt you if you knew they were there.”

 

“I’m pretty sure the whole _point_ of haunting is to let you know they’re there.”

 

“How would you know?” Dirk shifts a little further out of his hold, sitting up properly, “you’ve never met a ghost.”

 

“And you have?”

 

“Only briefly, but it's _not_ a situation I would want to repeat,” certainly not with a malevolent spirit anyway.

 

“Oh yeah?” Todd may appear disbelieving, but he can hear the intrigue in his voice, seemingly forgetting about the horrors on screen for a moment. “What happened?”

 

“It was for a case,” he tells him, most of these stories are. “We had to conduct a seance and…” he shrugs, fidgeting uncomfortably. “She was _not_ happy about being pulled from her rest, and even _less_ pleased about being interrogated about it.”

 

Todd stares at him with that look he gets when he doesn't know whether to believe him or not, it always makes Dirk feel a little insulted.

 

“ _Right_ ,” he says eventually, “I still don't think I believe in _ghosts_.”

 

Dirk turns his nose up at him, indignant. “Everyone says that, until they come for you.”

 

“Nothing's going to come for me, because ghosts don't _exist_!”

 

“Whatever keeps you sane.”

 

“Oh for-” he's riled up now, indignant in his own way that Dirk finds amusing mostly, and a little attractive. “Fine, _fine_ , if there's any ghosts nearby this is an open invitation to come haunt me. You're real? Prove it.”

 

“Todd!” Dirk sounds both scandalised and scared, but Todd just rolls his eyes.

 

“What, they're not _real_ so they're not gonna-” on the television, the ghost screeches as it rips someone's heart out of their chest, and then everything goes black.

 

Dirk and Todd will swear until their dying day that it was the _other_ person who screamed.

 

“Oh brilliant!” Dirk hisses into the darkness. “You _had_ to say it, didn't you? You had to pick a fight with a _ghost_ . What are you going to do, Todd? Are you going to _punch_ the _non-physical entity_ ? You're the _worst_ assistant _ever_.”

 

“Shut up,” he hisses back. “It's not a _ghost_ Dirk it's just… a power cut. A coincidence.”

 

“I _know_ coincidences Todd, this is _not_ one of those!”

 

“Well it’s not a _ghost_ !” he argues, but the way he’s got his hand twisted into Dirk’s jacket says he’s more scared than he’s letting on. “ _Shit_.”

 

“What?”

 

“I left my phone in the bedroom. I don’t suppose you have yours?” he doesn’t appreciate the dripping sarcasm in his voice, but he appreciates less that Todd is right.

 

“You’ll have to go and get it,” he whispers, dodging the question.

 

“Why do _I_ have to get it?”

 

“Well why not? It’s your phone, and besides, if there’s no ghost, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

 

He might not be able to _see_ his glare properly in the darkness, but he can _feel_ it.

 

“ _Fine_.” Todd spits the word out like it personally offends him, and steels himself to make the run across the room. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

 

Dirk realises his mistake as soon as Todd stands up, grabbing hold of the soft hoodie he’s wrapped himself in and pulling him back down.

 

“Dirk what the-!”

 

“You can’t _leave_ me!”

 

“I can’t stay here with you _and_ go and get my phone.”

 

Curse Todd and his ability to be logical. Dirk swallows, eyeing up the bedroom door and what seems like miles of dark, open space between them and it. It takes him a moment because he knows he’ll regret the words.

 

“We could go together?”

 

The suggestion seems to soothe Todd somewhat as well, no matter what he says about not being scared the tension in his shoulders tells a different story.

 

“Fine. But this is stupid. It’s just a power cut, there’s nothing to be scared _of_.” He sounds like he’s trying to reassure himself, so rather than saying anything Dirk just takes his hand and holds on tightly, following close behind as they begin the treacherous journey across the room.

 

They make it halfway across the room like that, before a floorboard in the hallway creaks ominously and they both freeze, turning to stare at each other in the darkness.

 

“Was that-” Dirk starts, voice shaking a little more than he’d like.

 

“It’s… probably just the wind?” Todd sounds as uncertain about that idea as it’s possible to, but Dirk finds himself nodding anyway.

 

“Right. Yes. The wind. In the corridor. Making the floorboards creak. That’s…”

 

For a moment they just stand in silence, the air around them thick with tension as they both wait for the other to suggest they move. Dirk opens his mouth to say something, but there’s another sound outside in the corridor and he _feels_ the way Todd jumps when he does, pulling him in closer as they watch the door with wide eyes.

 

“We should…” there’s another creak, closer this time, and Todd nods decisively.

 

“Bedroom, _now_ ,” he agrees, finishing his thought as he tightens his grip on his hand and pulls them both across the room, slamming the door behind them when they get inside. It hardly feels much safer though, and Dirk finds himself pulling Todd further into the room away from the door.

 

This time when the creak comes, there’s the definite sound of _footsteps_ to accompany it. Dirk gives up his hold on Todd’s jacket to cling onto his arm instead, which proves mostly ineffective when Todd appears to be trying to hide behind him just as much.

 

“That’s not the wind,” Dirk whispers, eyes fixed on the door as the footsteps sound ever closer, echoing in a horrible, _terrible_ way as they pick their way slowly down the hall. “It sounds like…”

 

“I _know_ what it sounds like,” he can see him better now they’re closer to the window, and it doesn’t escape his notice that Todd’s eyes are wide with fear. “It’s… probably just some kids, taking advantage of the power cut. It’s Halloween, kids like causing trouble. They’re just-” from the bedroom they can hear the doorknob rattle, and then the awful ominous sound of their front door swinging open.

 

“ _Todd_ ,” Dirk squeaks, clinging onto him even tighter than before as the footsteps make their way across the room towards the bedroom. “Todd I don’t want to die. Not like this.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re not gonna _die_ ,” he sounds as scared as he looks. But Todd, brave, _wonderful_ Todd, takes a step forward to put himself between Dirk and the door, picking up the lamp from the bedside table and holding it like a weapon. If it weren’t for the situation Dirk thinks he might find it dashing, if not reckless and stupid. He’s not quite sure what a lamp will do against a ghost, but it’s admirable that he’s willing to try.

 

“Todd I don’t-” he’s cut off when he bedroom door rattles, Todd tightens his grip on the lamp and adjusts his stance while Dirk ducks behind him as it rattles again. There's a second of brief, astonishingly lod silence, before the handle clicks, and it swings open.

 

Several things happen at once.

 

Dirk screams. Todd _also_ screams, and throws the lamp. The lamp that he’d failed to unplug from the wall, so it only gets as far as the cord will allow before falling to the floor and smashing against the floorboards ineffectively, leading Todd to jump back away from the mess and into Dirk, which in turn sends them both toppling down into a screaming heap on the floor.

 

From the doorway, Farah raises her eyebrow.

 

“What are you doing?” she asks, shining her torch in their direction. “Or… no. Don’t answer that.”

 

“Oh! Farah! Of course it’s Farah, Todd, look who it is! It’s Farah!” his heart is racing and his palms are sweaty as he babbles out his words and tries to pretend he knew all along. “Sorry about the… lamp. Todd thought you were a ghost!”

 

“ _I_ thought- Are you- No. No, this is-” he shoves him away, glaring in his direction and turning back to Farah. “Dirk got freaked out by a horror movie and the power went out. _He’s_ the one who thought you were a ghost,” he protests, trying very hard not to feel like a child as he points at Dirk in accusation.

 

“And… the lamp?” Farah asks, smile starting to work it’s way onto her face now the immediate threat of said lamp had passed.

 

“I- Well… Someone was coming! It was self defense!”

 

“Uh huh,” she nods, clearly not buying it. “Well, the power’s out so I thought I’d come and make sure you two were okay. But clearly,” she casts an amused glance at the lamp, “you’ve got that handled.”

 

Todd flushes as he pulls himself to his feet, Dirk scrambling to join him now the relief that they _weren’t_ being haunted has settled in.

 

“Quite handled, thank you Farah,” he agrees, brushing his jacket off like the last ten minutes never happened.

 

“Right. Well in that case I guess I’ll-”

 

“ _No!_ ”

 

They both interrupt her at once, stumbling over each other in their haste to get out excuses. Farah just stares, and tries very hard not to smile.

 

“You should stay,” Todd manages eventually, trying his best to look casual about it.

 

“It’s Halloween!” Dirk chimes in, “we have sweets, and- well I suppose we can’t watch a movie but… nobody wants to be alone on Halloween?”

 

She watches them squirm for a few moments, before taking pity on them and shaking her head with a soft laugh. “I suppose I don’t have any other plans.”

 

The relief is palpable in the room around them as Dirk nods excitedly, all thoughts of hauntings seemingly forgotten as he sets about pulling out some of their numerous blankets.

 

“Wonderful! We’ll- there really _isn’t_ much you can do without power, is there?” he rambles, pushing past Farah on his way back into the living room, starting to build what looks like a blanket nest on the sofa. “We’ll think of something I’m sure!”

 

“So,” Farah says, side eyeing Todd as he watches him from the doorway. “Ghosts?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“No, I’m curious. Did you think the lamp would work?” he’s aware he’s being teased and he doesn’t like it, crossing his arms defensively over his chest.

 

“It was for Dirk’s sake. You know what he’s like.”

 

She ducks her head to hide her smile, but it’s enough to make Todd’s mouth turn up at the corners, no matter how reluctantly.

 

“I’m guessing horror movies aren’t his favourite?”

 

Todd snorts, shaking his head. “I think we might be better off sticking to musicals.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's not my favourite work ever, but it was good fun to write!
> 
> Let me know what you think! This was a lot of work, and I like getting words in return for these words so if you enjoyed it, let me know! I hope you like it, I'd ask you to be nice but I already know you're a lovely lot.
> 
> You can catch me at kieren-fucking-walker on tumblr if you want to yell at me/talk to me about Dirk Gently/generally freak out over these two idiots.
> 
> Hopefully I'll see you around, Happy Halloween folks!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


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